


Elder Cunningham?

by JAD_Kiwi



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Comedy, Even if I'm bad at comedy, Humor, I guess slight pricingham?, Joke Fic, but not really, idek anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 02:56:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11796963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JAD_Kiwi/pseuds/JAD_Kiwi
Summary: Discussions at a breakfast table aren't all religious.





	Elder Cunningham?

**Author's Note:**

> So um this just happened.  
> It's bad but I just had a lame realization others probably have had.  
> I guess enjoy the fic?

"Hello, Elder Cunningham," Elder Price aka Kevin, one of the most incredible Mormons ever by most people's standards, greeted formally as said Elder Cunningham sat down at the breakfast table. The other Elders were either doing chores or seated likewise, consuming the stale meals they had.

With the exception of poptarts, but that was a special case.

The food wasn't the only stale thing in the room. The mood and motivation lacked progression or flavor. Uganda really was not the place any of them wanted to be in, and spirits hung low.

Thankfully, they had eachother to converse among to maybe bring some light of family to contrast the eclectic forms of hatred flying outside. It was such a severe case that even Kevin Price wasn't the bounciest of the bunch.

Breakfast was a moment to savor before going to the harsh outside world.

"Hey there buuuudy!" Arnold smiled, waving at Kevin from a respectable distance across the table as he sat down.

"We're going to accomplish a lot today, right?" Kevin weakly grinned.

"Yeah!" From Arnold's enthusiasm, Kevin's lips quirked upwards slightly to a more genuine smile.

"That's the spirit!" Elder McKinley chimed, quickly turning back to his dull plate.

"Any ideas on HOW?" Poptarts questioned bluntly.

"Oh, uh, let's try to get them to turn HATRED into LOVE?!" Arnold suggested, clearly proud of his idea.

"Yeah, fat chance," someone of unknown identity muttered.

"We'll do our best," Kevin announced. "Elder Cunningham, will you please pass the canned ham?"

"Sure, best friend!" Arnold blurted jovially.

"I just realized-" Elder McKinley gasped.

"Huh?" Arnold muttered, passing the can to Kevin.

"What even is your last name? Cunningham? With all due, respect, of course," he added as a second thought.

"Umm...my last name???" Arnold quizically responded.

"Really, I don't understand what this schoolyard teasing...wait," Kevin paused. "Cunningham. Like a cunning piece of ham?"

"Intelligent lunchmeat, huh," Connor mused.

"Oh my Boba Fett," Arnold replied, shook. "Best buddy!" He grabbed Kevin's shoulders from across the table. "In my 19 years of living I never noticed that!!!"

"I will never get over that," Poptarts sniggered.  
"So-so from now on you can call me SmartPork??" Arnold suggests.

"That sounds like a new device. Smartphone, SmartPork...." Connor trailed off.

"Yay! I'm smart!" Arnold announced proudly.

"Like I said, you're dad's got plenty to be proud of. He has a smart ham as a son," Kevin patted Arnold's back, voice for the first time laced with a bit of sarcasm.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was a thing.
> 
> Just a hypothetical breakfast convo? I'm so confused on why I wrote this.
> 
> ...You probably wasted time you'll never get back. Comment? I don't know.


End file.
